The Record Crate

Someone grab the lynching rope, it’s about to get ugly. The following words may offend a lot of you, but in all honesty I could care less. It’s my opinion and if you didn’t want to know it you didn’t have to read The Record Crate in the first place. But now that I have your attention, I have an important news bulletin:

The Beatles Are Not A Rock ‘N’ Roll Band

Now that I’ve got you all good and pissed off, allow me to explain myself. We’ve grown up in a time where Rock ‘N’ Roll music has been defined to many extremes. On one end, you have 40 year-old anti-piracy “Metal Heads,” still trying to re-live their twenties and on the other end you’ve got three promise ring wearing boners anxiously awaiting to break into their twenties. There’s just no common ground anymore. Think about all of the bands that have been called Rock bands in the past and all of the bands that are considered the same now: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Police, Styx, Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, The Jonas Brothers, Good Charlotte (in order from most legit to least).

These bands have all played to sold out crowds and had panties flung at them. Awesome. By the definition of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll these bands have it in the bag. But not the Beatles. Nope. Not even close. People enjoy listening to their music. They enjoy dancing to their music. Shit…a video game (that makes a mockery of everything related to music, I might add) has paid tribute to them. I guess Metallica got the same treatment, but the music they play these days has been used as a torture method in Gitmo (or so I’ve heard).

By today’s standard, Rock music can not and should not be “danced” to. Whoever made that rule should be burned at the stake. Every school dance I ever went to was DJ-ed by some middle aged bro looking for some extra snatch-er-I mean cash. Not only that, he didn’t know the first thing about good music. I’ve always wanted to go to a dance and hear a live band play good music to dance to. The problem is, no live band will degrade themselves enough to play songs like “Barbie Girl.” In fact, that’s not a problem at all. It’s like built in birth control for our ears. Thanks guys.

Back in the day, people danced to the Beatles. This was happening even before they were THE Beatles. Back in germany, when they were a bunch of English schmucks playing dance tunes for the sons of Hitler Youth (oooooohhhhhh…still too soon?). While traditionalists may consider The Beatles a Rock band, no one in their right mind would do so today.

It’s not that I think The Beatles are soft, I just don’t think The Fray is all that hard.