The Record Crate

Here’s why the music industry is marketing first, musical talent second. The Boys of Summer. As an avid follower of the website/blog/forum/gossip site Absolutepunk.net, I have the (mis)pleasure of knowing about the goings on in the “punk” world as they happen. The thing about this site, is that 95% of the music I listen to isn’t even mentioned above a whisper on the day-to-day, but I feel some sort of unspoken loyalty to the site that provoked my teenage rebellion. I would say that, on a normal day, two out of every fifty posts are relevant to the music I’m listening to. The Boys of Summer. What a joke.

They first appeared on the site with this. This is a prime example of how industry folk pride themselves on packaging over product and it’s pure, unadulterated bullshit. There were lots of theories that surrounded the band. The name comes (assumingly) from the Don Henley song “The Boys of Summer,” most notably covered by the Ataris in recent years, thoughts led to the band being a pop-punk super group. They even employed the ever-popular Twitter, by saying if they got so many followers by a certain date, they’d unveil a suprise.

Well suprise! They’re nobodies. The countdown on their “homepage” yielded a cleverly crafted MySpace, that mirrors just about every pop rock band out there today. In fact, with different colors and pictures, you might think you were on an All Time Low spoof page. Their music is generic. Their look is contrived. They are made up of former members of some band called “That Was Something.” What was something? What did I miss? Oh yeah. Nothing. Their music. Here’s a tip for all you bands that are breaking up and putting together new line-ups with new songs. In fact, take a hint from Elvis Costello. When he put together a solid band, he branded himself as Elvis Costello and the Attractions. Once bass player Bruce Thomas left the band, who was replaced by Dave Farragher, Costello changed the band’s name to “The Imposters.” That’s the best. He might be the only musician in popular, relevant history to tip his hat to the fact that once an original member leaves a band it’s a lie to say that, for example, Elvis Costello and the Attractions are the same band regardless of the bass player. You know what I say? Way to go Elvis.

But I digress. “That Was Something” lost members and are now “The Boys of Summer.” You did one thing right. Too bad it wasn’t better music. But the point I’ve been trying to make. By putting up your old band’s music under a new name, not only is that plagarism, but the worst form of douche baggery I’ve ever witnessed.

If I had one dying wish, assuming I were to drop dead after I finish this post, I would want the music industry to own up to this one flaw. They have this idea that if you package something the right way everyone will love it. Under the same channel of thinking as “You can polish a turd and it’s still a turd,” no matter how much a P.R. expert packages a band and embeds them into Web 2.0 and mindless teenagers everywhere, even with stunning scene-kid looks, if their music is the pitts, people will recognize it sooner or later. Here’s my Exposé: Music Industry figure-heads have no idea what music is anymore. Next stop: Fashion Week New York.

People like those people give America it’s bad name. I’m talking to you MySpace Tom.