I feel like I have hated on music in this blog more than I have glorified it, but this topic is something that I can not let lie. I’ve done it countless times. I’ll be the first to admit it. However, when I hear other people do it, it makes my blood boil? Am I better than other music fans? I would say better than just about 86% of them. However, when I hear other people say it, it makes me realize how ignorant the phrase is and thus highlights the speaker’s arrogance. I know. I know. What am I talking about?
“(Band X) sucks dude.”
Chances are, if you’ve heard of a band, they probably don’t “suck.” I agree that everyone has individual tastes, but individual taste is not the same thing as the aesthetic quality of a band. Here are a few basic facts, guidelines and manifestos to understanding why that band you don’t like doesn’t “suck.”
- If a band is signed to a record label, I’ll say in good faith that the band in question does not suck. The truth of the matter is that their record was released on someone’s advanced dime. Where the ideas and aspirations of individuals differ amongst different social circles, I can not think of a single person who would knowingly make a bad investment on purpose. It’s bad business. Putting out a band that “sucks” is the same concept as putting your life savings into the stock market after it closes at an all time low. In fact, that brings up a great point. Bands are a record label’s investments. Investments have potential to grow in value or crash in the fiery flames of hell. If the latter happens, then its safe to say it’s a good idea to cut the bad investment free.
- On what basis does any individual have to say that a certain artist “sucks” other than their songwriting capabilities?
- These days, bands put out albums that have been auto-tuned to the point of nausea. Every single note played by every single instrument is put in the right place and played at the right time. A band could be made up of the five worst musicians in London and their record would still come out as pristine as the new Coldplay album because of the band’s producer’s ability to manually edit the individual songs so that their imperfections are nonexistent. Bands in live settings are no more a testament of the kind of band they are then their albums are. A band could write the greatest song of all time, but possess only an elementary understanding of their instrument. Case and point: The Sex Pistols. They wrote fantastic, genre-defining songs. They (arguably) played their own instruments on the record, and sounded terrible live. Does this mean that the Sex Pistols sucked? Absolutely not. They just couldn’t play their instruments. If they “suck” at anything, it’s knowing the fundamentals of their own music.
- The true testament, in my opinion, of a band is their ability to write good music. You might be thinking that many Pop icons of the 21st century did not write their own songs. This is common knowledge. They are not bands in my opinion. They are vessels for guys who wouldn’t be taken seriously on their own in a performance setting, though have a certain spark of songwriting. Does their songwriting suck? Maybe to some people, but the songs they write have a direct audience; teeny-boppers. Those kids LOVE pop music. Honestly…mission accomplished. If a band that honestly writes their own music and does a terrible job of it, they get dropped from their label. It’s basic math. Record companies understand the difference between bands who can and can not write their own music. It’s difficult, however, to completely dismiss a band who has the looks but not the goods to pull it off. When this sort of thing happens (coughBACKSTREETBOYScough), phantom songwriters from Sweeden are brought in so that the band can concentrate on cashing in on their looks, while leaving the real musical prowess to those guys that the public will never get to see.
- I have found a trend in the whole “that band sucks movement.” A prime example, is Fall Out Boy. FOB was a scene staple when their debut album “Take This to Your Grave” came out. People idolized this band, myself included (I still do. Take all the scene points you want from me). Then, Pete Went’s ego got bigger than the band and they got a major label distro-deal. All of a sudden, this indie-ish label hero-band gets the opportunity of a lifetime. All of a sudden, the band everyone once loved started to “suck.” When the band got their major label shot did the band start sucking? I highly disagree. In my opinion, they only improved their sound and their musical skill-sets. However, people often mistake money for sucking. I disagree. I feel like when people attribute their opinion on a band’s sound negatively based on how much money they make, I feel like their whole opinion on everything has jumped the shark. Honestly, I feel like anyone who doesn’t take the time to listen to the music they bash should be brought out to the desert and have their head gorilla-glued to a railroad track and left for dead. With any luck a train will come, splattering their brains all over the tracks and the sand. That person’s shotty opinion is now the desert’s problem.
- Finally, please understand that your opinion is the most valuable thing any human being could possess and that it should not be mistaken for a talent-meter. It’s alright to not like a band. There are bands that I would jump off of a cliff into pirana-infested waters before listening to (mainly Dave Matthews, Rascal Flatts and 3OH!3). I won’t come out and say that their music sucks, but my opinion of them is less-than-favorable. There are only a few people who I would listen to if they told me someone’s music sucked: Brian Wilson, Paul McCartney, Ben Gibbard, Stweart Copeland (Sting doesn’t suck, but his music makes me want to eat my eyeballs in an ice cream sundae) and the entire Pitchfork Media staff. Unless you are any of the aforementioned people, I don’t want to hear any variation of “that band sucks” come out of your mouth. Ya dig?
I have come to accept the fact that this epidemic will not go away. In fact, people thinking that bands who don’t suck do suck is a bigger and more important epidemic than Swine Flu. I think I read that in Blender, but you know how reliable they are (now that’s a publication that honestly, and truly sucks so hard that they create a vacuum). I am man enough to admit my flaws. I loved Hanson once. I have an old home video of me dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Free the World” whilst hanging up a christmas tree with my mom and sister. I used to play the drums to *NSync. I have also said that bands suck, even when they don’t. Honestly, I’ll probably do it again. I’ll get over it. Maybe I’ll read this blog to get my attitude right. Or maybe I’ll just realize that my opinion on music is better than most people’s. I’m not being big-headed. I’ve read a lot of blogs. Most people don’t know anything about what they blog about. Thankfully for both you and I, I’m not one of those people.
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